Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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