Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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