Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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