$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize