Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
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i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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