my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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