doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
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We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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