Where is the hickey?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I want a musical about memes.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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