Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize