Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize