I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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