Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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