oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
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and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
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Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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