You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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