4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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