If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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