Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Im part way to drunk.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize