I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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