he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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