i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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