Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
