i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
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I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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