I want to walk on stilts...naked
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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