This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize