There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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