before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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