dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to choose: penises or morals?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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