My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
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I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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