She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize