I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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