Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize