we're blogging at a bar
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize