Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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