dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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