Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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