There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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