I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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