If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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