Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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