Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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