im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
wow bdsm is so cute
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
is it fun? or sober?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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