Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize