I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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