I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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