i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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