Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize