I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
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the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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