The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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