That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
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We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
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Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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