You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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