I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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