so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize